He was born and raised in Detroit, where his parents were Southern Baptists. At age 15, he came out to them. At 33, while studying in China, Abdullah converted to Islam, and
went on to study the religion in Egypt, Jordan and Syria. But as a gay man in America, he saw that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Muslims had unmet spiritual needs and he became an imam to provide community support.
“Sometimes necessity is the mother of invention. And because of the necessity in our community, that's why I came into this particular role,” he told America Tonight about his journey.
His first act as an imam? Performing funeral rites for a gay Muslim who died of AIDS.
“They had contacted a number of imams, and no one would go and provide him his janazah services,” he said, referring to the Muslim body cleaning ritual. That pained him.
“I believe every person, no matter if I disagree with you or not, you have the right as a Muslim to have the proper spiritual [rites] and rituals provided for you. And whoever judges you, that will be Allah's decision, not me.”
It’s one of the mantras he lives by in his work, even as others condemn him.
A place for everyone
“The beautiful thing about God is that when you change your attitude,
and say, 'God, I need some help,' and mean it sincerely, God is always
there for you,” Abdullah told congregants one night during a regular
sermon, known as a khutbah, at the Light of Reform Mosque in Washington, D.C.
He serves as the imam and educational director of the mosque, which he helped form more than two years ago to be a safe space for values and practices that other mosques may eschew.
During his service, women and men kneel side-by-side and women are allowed to lead prayers – actions that have sparked controversy even among American Muslims.
"We do not limit people by their gender or their sexual orientation, or their particular aspect of being Muslim or non-Muslim,” he told America Tonight. “They're there to worship."
The mosque’s congregants are diverse and represent a wide range of cultures, religious upbringings and sexual orientations.
He serves as the imam and educational director of the mosque, which he helped form more than two years ago to be a safe space for values and practices that other mosques may eschew.
During his service, women and men kneel side-by-side and women are allowed to lead prayers – actions that have sparked controversy even among American Muslims.
"We do not limit people by their gender or their sexual orientation, or their particular aspect of being Muslim or non-Muslim,” he told America Tonight. “They're there to worship."
The mosque’s congregants are diverse and represent a wide range of cultures, religious upbringings and sexual orientations.
"The
first time I talked to Imam Daayiee on the phone, I started bawling. I
was like, I didn't know there could be a place like this.”
Laila Ali was raised Muslim, but didn’t feel accepted by Islam,
because her beliefs fell outside traditional schools of thought. Then,
she heard about Abdullah.
“A lot of us started feeling like we only had the choice to either be Muslim in name only and do whatever we want, or leave the religion altogether because there was no place for us,” Ali said. “And the first time I talked to Imam Daayiee on the phone, I started bawling … I was like, I didn't know there could be a place like this.”
Sixty-three percent of the 2.75 million Muslims living in the U.S. are first-generation immigrants, according to the Pew Research Center, many of them coming from countries where same-sex relationships are punishable by law, and in countries such as Saudi Arabia and Sudan, even by death. For its LGBT congregants, the Light of Reform Mosque is a rare safe space.
But not all of them are gay. Many are just Muslims looking for a mosque that accepts all kinds.
Hanaa Rifaey and her husband Rolly grew up going to local mosques with their families, but they say they didn’t really experience the kind of acceptance the way they do at the Light of Reform.
"I think that's exactly why we've wanted to come here,” Rifaey said. “I think it was even more important once we realized that we were starting to have our own family, was that we wanted to have a mosque where our child would feel included and welcome regardless of who he or she had turned out to be."
Imam Daayiee provides other services that are unique for an imam of a Muslim community, like marrying same-sex couples. So far in his 13 years as imam, he has performed more than 50 weddings.
"We're actually out there doing something, making a difference in people's lives," he said.
“A lot of us started feeling like we only had the choice to either be Muslim in name only and do whatever we want, or leave the religion altogether because there was no place for us,” Ali said. “And the first time I talked to Imam Daayiee on the phone, I started bawling … I was like, I didn't know there could be a place like this.”
Sixty-three percent of the 2.75 million Muslims living in the U.S. are first-generation immigrants, according to the Pew Research Center, many of them coming from countries where same-sex relationships are punishable by law, and in countries such as Saudi Arabia and Sudan, even by death. For its LGBT congregants, the Light of Reform Mosque is a rare safe space.
But not all of them are gay. Many are just Muslims looking for a mosque that accepts all kinds.
Hanaa Rifaey and her husband Rolly grew up going to local mosques with their families, but they say they didn’t really experience the kind of acceptance the way they do at the Light of Reform.
"I think that's exactly why we've wanted to come here,” Rifaey said. “I think it was even more important once we realized that we were starting to have our own family, was that we wanted to have a mosque where our child would feel included and welcome regardless of who he or she had turned out to be."
Imam Daayiee provides other services that are unique for an imam of a Muslim community, like marrying same-sex couples. So far in his 13 years as imam, he has performed more than 50 weddings.
"We're actually out there doing something, making a difference in people's lives," he said.
A raging debate
Not everyone is happy with the mosque.
"Being an openly gay imam and having been identified as such, I do get a lot of feedback and also kickback, but that's OK,” he said. “I think that when people are unfamiliar with things, they tend to have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to it."
But Abdullah is firm in his belief that there has never been “one monolithic, isolated” formulation of Islam. "It's not something that's new. It's just like reform and revival within Islam, about every 100, 150 years there have been these discussions and there have been people who have opposed the status quo on these issues,” he said. “So it's not something that I'm just coming up with as a modern Islamic scholar, but something that has been in existence since time immortal."
Some local imams have refused to greet him, and many others across the country argue his work performing same-sex marriage is not legitimate, and that he should control his “urges.”
“Anyone who has an inclination that is not acceptable, they have to control themselves,” Muzammil Siddiqi, a well-known imam at California’s Islamic Society of Orange County said earlier this year when asked about Abdullah. “If someone has an inclination to commit adultery or an inclination to drink alcohol or a great desire to eat pork, I would say the same thing: control yourselves.”
"Being an openly gay imam and having been identified as such, I do get a lot of feedback and also kickback, but that's OK,” he said. “I think that when people are unfamiliar with things, they tend to have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to it."
But Abdullah is firm in his belief that there has never been “one monolithic, isolated” formulation of Islam. "It's not something that's new. It's just like reform and revival within Islam, about every 100, 150 years there have been these discussions and there have been people who have opposed the status quo on these issues,” he said. “So it's not something that I'm just coming up with as a modern Islamic scholar, but something that has been in existence since time immortal."
Some local imams have refused to greet him, and many others across the country argue his work performing same-sex marriage is not legitimate, and that he should control his “urges.”
“Anyone who has an inclination that is not acceptable, they have to control themselves,” Muzammil Siddiqi, a well-known imam at California’s Islamic Society of Orange County said earlier this year when asked about Abdullah. “If someone has an inclination to commit adultery or an inclination to drink alcohol or a great desire to eat pork, I would say the same thing: control yourselves.”
At the heart of the disagreement is the interpretation of Islam.
“If you go to most Muslim scholars, they're going to tell you that homosexual acts are a sin in Islam; that there's no way around it,” said Dr. Hussein Rashid, an adjunct professor of religion at Hofstra University and contributor to a report on homosexuality in U.S. Muslim communities called the Muslim LGBT Inclusion Project. “I think what we're seeing now not only in the United States, but worldwide really, is a question of going back to sources and rereading these sources,” Rashid added. “But the tradition was and remains that homosexuality is a sin in Muslim tradition."
The various scholars who contributed to the project’s report emphasized that there is no singular interpretation of homosexuality in Islam. By examining historical approaches in different Muslim cultures, the report challenged the idea that LGBT people are not accepted in Islam.
"I think Daayiee is trying to say, 'Yes, I can be gay and I can be a Muslim, and I can tend to people who are also gay and Muslim,' that this is part of their identity as a human being and that the religion of Islam teaches people to embrace all aspects of their humanity," he said.
“If you go to most Muslim scholars, they're going to tell you that homosexual acts are a sin in Islam; that there's no way around it,” said Dr. Hussein Rashid, an adjunct professor of religion at Hofstra University and contributor to a report on homosexuality in U.S. Muslim communities called the Muslim LGBT Inclusion Project. “I think what we're seeing now not only in the United States, but worldwide really, is a question of going back to sources and rereading these sources,” Rashid added. “But the tradition was and remains that homosexuality is a sin in Muslim tradition."
The various scholars who contributed to the project’s report emphasized that there is no singular interpretation of homosexuality in Islam. By examining historical approaches in different Muslim cultures, the report challenged the idea that LGBT people are not accepted in Islam.
"I think Daayiee is trying to say, 'Yes, I can be gay and I can be a Muslim, and I can tend to people who are also gay and Muslim,' that this is part of their identity as a human being and that the religion of Islam teaches people to embrace all aspects of their humanity," he said.
A growing movement
Though it is unknown how many American Muslims or Muslims around the world are gay, a growing number are vying to be heard.
Several recent films have helped to shed light on LGBT Muslims and their everyday realities.
The most well-known, “A Jihad for Love,” spans 12 countries in nine languages to share the stories of LGBT Muslims. The film “I Am Gay and Muslim” tracks several gay Moroccan men as they explore their religious and sexual identities. And the coming independent film “Naz + Maalik” follows two closeted American Muslim teens as they grapple with FBI surveillance.
Several recent films have helped to shed light on LGBT Muslims and their everyday realities.
The most well-known, “A Jihad for Love,” spans 12 countries in nine languages to share the stories of LGBT Muslims. The film “I Am Gay and Muslim” tracks several gay Moroccan men as they explore their religious and sexual identities. And the coming independent film “Naz + Maalik” follows two closeted American Muslim teens as they grapple with FBI surveillance.
Around the world, new spaces are being carved out. Last year, a gay-friendly mosque opened in Paris – Europe’s first. Muhsin Hendricks, an openly gay imam in Capetown, South Africa, has for years been leading congregants and
preaching that homosexuality and Islam are not incompatible. And in
America, LGBT Muslims have some strong support. The only Muslims in the
House of Representatives, Rep. Keith Ellison, D-Minn., and Rep. Andre
Carson, D-Ind., have both advocated for gay rights. The group Muslims for Progressive Values, which helped found the Light of Reform Mosque, also has strong presence in Philadelphia and Atlanta, and is growing.
And Abdullah has hope that the message he is working to spread will continue to resonate: "It is our relationship with God and our relationship with each other that really establishes our faith."
And Abdullah has hope that the message he is working to spread will continue to resonate: "It is our relationship with God and our relationship with each other that really establishes our faith."
Adnan Osman3 hours ago
He is no imam nor was that a real mosque he will burn the worst fire!!!!!!!!
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Heather Robertson Barbour3 hours ago
I
must agree with Khaleel DeGrouch. These comments are some of the most
hateful I've read! Do you know how you sin by saying such things?! Did
Rasool-Allah say things like this? No, not even about the mushrikine -
and we all know there is no greater sin than shirk - no not even
homosexuality.
But some sins the Prophet (pbuh) DID speak about - accusing a Muslim of being a "non-believer" or kafir. As he said, only ALLAH can judge someone's heart. You MUST accept someone as Muslim if they claim to be. And to wish this man to die and burn in hell?! Did ANY of the prophets ever wish such a thing on ANYONE? No, not even Lut wished this. What DID the prophets do, when faced with people who were completely lost in sin? They prayed for Allah to give them guidance, to soften their hearts, and to show them MERCY. Most of you in this comment section should be ashamed of yourselves. You are no better than the Christian fundamentalists or Islamaphobes who spew hatred like this. And lastly, just remember what was said about judging others and their sins - we ALL sin. If you attack a believer for his sin that you know about, you may be attacking someone who is far better than you in his faith and actions. Allah knows best. Try leaving the judgment up to Him.
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EemanHassan4 hours ago
Um... NO THANKS. I think I will stick with traditional Islam; the quran and the instructions of the prophet.
It is perfect so I don't think I need to change it to include something that is forbidden in my religion. What a joke.
+2
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Shahed Miah4 hours ago
May Allah guide him and those who follow him.
+1
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Mohamed Vaiz4 hours ago
he is a kaafir , he should be hanged to death
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A Sef5 hours ago
The
Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Every newly introduced affair is an
innovation. Every innovation is an error and every error is in the
fire.” This is an authentic hadîth related by al-Tirmidhî and others.
+1
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A Sef5 hours ago
This
man does not represent Islam at all..Islam consists of following the
teachings of our beloved prophet & teacher muhammed PBUH and no way
has it been taught by him for any human being to perform any ill acts
such as the ones this so called imam is portraying..He is a fraud and a
false preacher who has lost his true path..PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM
& STUDY THE TRUE RELIGION OF ISLAM ....
+1
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Idris Ahmed6 hours ago
May Allah truly guide him. Clearly, he came from among the people of Sodomites.
+1
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Hamzah Nasser6 hours ago
This guy is in there for the money. He is getting paiddddd.
+2
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Khaleel DeGrouch8 hours ago
Follow
up to my last post: if i were non Muslim, I would balk at ever
considering being Musilm...for some of the hate expressed here certainly
is as such that i would not want to be a coreligionist of such people.
As it is, i realize that each one of us may claim to be whatever:
jewish, chrsitian, muslim or whatever. thankfully, the judgment is with
God.
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Khaleel DeGrouch8 hours ago
Let
me put it this way. having read some of the comments from those who may
identify themselves as Muslim, I am truly sad. First comment: he's an
ugly pig. Apart from that being a matter of perspective, what does that
have to do with his position on sexuality? As for those of you who are
so willing to condemn him, why don't you go put God on trial for
creating LGBTQs? Some of you "Muslims" complain about islamophobia..but
you spread it yourself when you manifest such deep rooted hate based on
your own bigotry. I am a straight person: i had no choice in my being
who I am. I am left handed. I had no choice in that either. Or my being a
person of color. Neither does a gay person. If you indeed have what you
may consider your "proofs" against this, then realize that thus far,
the research is against 'choice." For your own spiritual well-being, you
should say "Lord, I don't have enough knowledge to rule on this matter.
And grant me the knowledge so that I may be a better person." To those
of you who will answer with the regular copralalia an opprobria: You are
who you are, and your vileness manifests itself in they way you express
yourself.
+2
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Ghaniah Alkul5 hours ago
You
may be right about the research of gay people being born that way, but
if you are a Muslim you have to believe that the Quran is the word of
Allah. That is the most important part of Islam. The people who are
commenting here may be wrong in the way that they are representing there
believes, but they are only relating what in the Quran. Allah knew
since the beginning of time that there were going to be gay people, that
is why he forbid it, or he still forbade it. It is the same like you
being born left handed, born that way but you still have to use your
right hand for some things. Allah forbid it because he does not want it
to be a common thing to do. I'm sure that there are reasons that we may
not know, but other things that he forbade before and we accepted proved
to be right. Like drinking alcohol for example. People for a long time
accepted that it is forbidden and stopped drinking without Knowing that
it cause cirrhosis of the liver. How many person died of cirrhosis of
the liver before Islam because of abusing alcohol? Only Allah knows.
That is why Allah forbid some things, it is for our own good. It does
not benefit him, it benefit us.
+1
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Sabbir Shanto3 hours ago
the
so-called scientific evidence behind sexual orientation like
homosexuality or bisexuality is loose and hotly disputed. It's only that
we wish to wear the garb of liberals and project ourselves as such that
leads us to accept homosexuality and move on. Even if we come to a
conclusion that 'well, homosexuality is predetermined at birth', this is
a deviation without which humanity has fared well for as long we can
imagine. Should homosexuality be allowed by the gov or not is an
entirely different debate, but an Imam who's like mouthpiece of proper
Islamic practices, a person whom Muslims in his communities would look
up to for Islamic guidance cant be 'homosexual'. It's like a porn star
preaching abstinence as the best way of life. It's true that a person
who lived as a homosexual should have a proper burial and a janzaa (if
he were a Muslim), but as for the person above, he must choose between
the two 1. Imamate 2. homosexual life
+1
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Tahir Mohammed9 hours ago
He's ugly pig
-1
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Thasin Akhand9 hours ago
well
he can be gay as long as he doesn't have any intimate sexual
relationship with someone of the same sex. He has the right to like
anyone so long as he doesn't do the haram. Essentially he can be gay but
cannot be in a relationship. But people who are commenting here, be
careful what you say, Allah is the only one who can judge if he deserves
to be Imam or not. If a prostitute can go to heaven just by providing
water to a dog, then anything can happen. Also women and men praying
side by side is wrong, because if a man prays behind a women, he can see
the shape of her behind.
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Sabbir Shanto3 hours ago
about
a prostitute going to heaven: this was an incident narrated to show how
forgiving Allah can be is and must not be taken as a general rule.
Obviously, Allah can forgive the worst of sinners if they are repentant
enough and vow to never repeat it, but how 'enough' is 'enough' u really
dont know. About homosexuality: a man can live with another man only if
they dont perform physical relation and they dont adopt kids i.e a
platonic, friendly civil union. But no, an openly homosexual man cannot
really be an Imam. Sorry about that. An Imam is a person who shows his
community the true values of Islam and this is a gross
misrepresentation which might take 10000000 more than just feeding a
thirsty, hungry dog.
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Mahad Sheikh10 hours ago
He is one big fake fat Shaydan! he is not Imam nor even close to a being a Muslim! go burn to hellfire?
-1
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Shoaib Khan10 hours ago
dear
muslim brothers and sisters, stop it already. let him live his life and
you live yours. he's not judging you and you shouldn't judge him. who
are you to decide what is right and wrong? if you don't like him, do
your own thing and let him be. you have no right to say "this isn't
islam" or "this is blasphemy." faith is a deeply personal emotion, and
experience.
if you have so much concern for the good of the world, worry about crime and poverty. worry about important things. do something proactive. stand up against rape, murder, greed. let this man be. i salute him for standing up for what he believes in. if you can't respect him, just don't have anything to do with him. simple as that.
+3
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Ahmed Arifi10 hours ago
As
far as Islam is concerned, he is not Muslim. Not because he is a
sinner, being a sinner does not make one a kaffir, but the fact that he
is comitting kufr by comitting a sin and advocating it as a 'part of
islam' makes him a kaffir.
This is only going to get accepted by like minded individuals and by those with an agenda to undermine the principles and monolithic nature of Islam which he says 'never existed'. I think he is forgetting about the punishment for homosexuality in Islam.
+3
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moka osman10 hours ago
may
Allah guides him to the repentance & straight path . i believe this
man did not listen to any Muslim's "scholar ". this our fault all
together as a Muslims, we have to teach such people by learning them the
repentance is the only way for them. what they are doing & what
they believe in now is totally wrong .
My message to all Muslim's scholars in nun Muslims country like USA is to be kind when they speak to those or to any nun Muslims & give your teaching without hate . My message to this man is, Islam is not choosing what we need and throw out what we do not. Islam is a complete religion , do not stand in a narrow angle of thinking . may Allah guide us all.
+1
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Abba Jidda10 hours ago
Oh
my god,do you know what this man is been sponsored by those
hypocrite,tyrant,those that don't know what they believe in just to
spoil the name islam. But never,they can't bhi iznillah. A lady by said
she is proud to be a muslim dua to this kinda devil act.please answer my
quation is this same usless thing make you proud of your religion,and
still wanna join islam due to this devil act? Ok islam isn't what you
think as a devilish religion as yours. Islam is more far than what you
think is,try and make your self understand. Try and change your life
style,don't change bacause of this kinda life style,let the fair of god
change you.try and know to your self that god is who created
mankind,heaven and earth !
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ハディール ハディール10 hours ago
I think that we are all muslim but some of us drink beer that doesn't mean that it is right i hope u got my point
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EemanHassan4 hours ago
Of
course no. Sinning does not take you outside of the fold of Islam. An
alcoholic is STILL a muslim. A GAY PERSON IN STILL A MUSLIM.
But that DOESN'T justify their actions. What this imam is doing is that he is JUSTIFYING these actions and saying it is part of islam. I don't know what that is - disbelief or something worse
+1
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moneeza khan11 hours ago
Did God/Allah not create the man or woman who is gay? If all you so called educated muslims
want to blame anyone,blame your Allah for he created gay people too! Open your eyes and hearts and don't take fairytale stories in a book as the final word of any celestial being,these books were written by men,for men in the dark ages. We need an update version of the Quran if one at all,nothing else pre-historic is used anymore.
-1
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Security 1-2 Broadgate7 hours ago
Gay
is a illness of the mind and heart it is given by shaythan not Allah
Allah has given all of us a brain to see clearly whats good and bad also
he has given us the quran an instructions to how we should live our
lives as he is the creator who knows whts best for us,being gay is
completly 100% goes against our humen nature its totaly wrong in every
way even a young child can see that, its harmfull to us also to the
soceity,it is a test form Allah which all gay ppl are failing
badly.Quran is not a man made book it is from Allah subhano thala it
does not need updating it is the most perfect book only if u understand
it.it has answers for everything go and read it.
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Mohamed Abdullahi11 hours ago
in
the name of allh really this man is not a muslim and also a imam , he
is what we call if we are a truelly muslim some one who wants to play
the dignity and the value of islam, he is some one who pretend a muslim
but he is nt even imam, please as a brother if ur faith is true return
to your sustainer, your creater, god can forgive you if u accept about
ur sins tht is my advice and i would also like to tell my other brothers
and sisters who are islam please before u accept some thing learn it , u
hve to knw ur religion wht is allowed and what is not being allowed .
+1
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Aishath Leena11 hours ago
this
is just blasphemy. there is no such thing as gay imam. this is done by
the christian propaganda saying they have 'converted' to islam. may he
die soon with the rest.
+1
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Dawood Lebona12 hours ago
My question to Imam Abdullah is why did Allah punish the people of Lut (as) if homosexuality is acceptable in the eyes of Allah?
+3
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Sam Badger10 hours ago
The
people of Sodom and Gommorah were also rapists. You can think
homosexuality is ok and still oppose the sexual assault of guests.
+2
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Abubakar Jabbo12 hours ago
May Allah touch his heart to realize the damage he is doing and come back to the right path.
If he is not chageable may Allah destroy him and his devilish movement. I dont believe he is a muslim. Cos no islamic sect agrees with this animalistic and insane behaviour. SUBHANALLAH!
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Aloka Chowdhury7 hours ago
And no muslim would ever wish harm on someone. Before you judge others, take a look at your own actions
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Bilal Hassan4 hours ago
May
Allah guide your heart to accept everyone and hate none who have done
no harm to you. If you keep portraying Allah to be a hateful being,
young muslims like myself will be leaving Islam by millions in the next
decade as they already are.
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Chris London12 hours ago
God forbid a leader of Islam preach tolerance. I mean, what on earth is he thinking?
-2
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Ammal Nabulsi8 hours ago
Islam
teaches us to be tolerant of others, however, that is not what this man
is teaching. He is trying to justify his actions withing the realm of
this religion. He is teaching our youth to ignore the koran and follow
him. Its black and white (just like adultery) that this is
unacceptable. Why does sexual orientation have to be an issue in
everything? With all the worldly issues going on in today's world, why
does anyone's sexual orientation have to even be brought up? I really
don't care what anyone's sexual orientation is....that is between the
individual and God. I do care that today's youth being influenced by
what is advertised in all our sources of media available.
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Bilal Hassan4 hours ago
Thanks
for your post, it's views like yours that are behind why millions of
young ex-muslims are converting to atheism. So thank you
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